'Don't judge me because I certainly don't judge you'
As I sit here on this fine monday morning I 've decided i need to share something with you on my blog. I'm taking this time to write this as it's a very personal piece for me to do. Since i was a baby I've had scoliosis. This might mean nothing to you but for me it's a major step I'm taking in talking to you about something like this. Some might say why bother? Firstly I'm 33 and guess what I'm tired of still seen the same thing I did when I was a kid. Secondly I'm stepping into a new phase of my life by having my blog and I don't want to be holding back on things. Question does anyone know what scoliosis is? Well here goes it's an abnormal curve of the spine and truthfully sometimes I wish I never had it but it's taking me a very long time to finally accept this as part of my life. Jesus even writing this I'm feeling a tad bit emotional. Do i need to tell people that I have scoliosis no because really i don't think they need to know but guess what maybe my 'appearance' might give it away.I want to have people around me that are supportive, positive and love me rightly for me. I'll be judged no matter what but i think at this stage in my life i shouldn't care to let it bother me but still it's hard.
Me and my sister
However I'm not going to lie I still have my days that are hard and my confidence is low but one thing I've stop shedding the tears and believe me there were many throughout the years.My mam and dad are always there with a very big hug when i need it.Now my days are spent trying to be happy why waste anymore time in getting upset about words coming from a size small of majority of people that don't know me from adams. Yes would i love another operation?Yes because i want to be seen to be perfect in this so called modern world we live in but then again what is perfect? I did have one operation done when I was a baby. Sure I wouldn't have known that until I was a little bit older when my mam was telling the many doctors at all my check ups. Yes even to this day i still go for my regular 6 monthly check up. Back then though I was told another operation was not necessary as the curve was described as not being that bad. Well ok I'll just carry on with my life then but no one warns you about hearing the cruel words and seeing the horrible gestures made by kids following me throughout my years. OK their just kids and so was I but seriously i didn't need to hear those harsh words because they hurt. My age now and growing up with that I seriously think people need to start teaching future generations that everyone is not the same. Low and behold there are different people out there that are not like youwisely think before you speak! As i said before I still find myself getting the odd eyeball been thrown my way and I still hear the odd sly comment but i wasn't brought up like that so i don't judge them but what gives them the right to judge me.
Doing the color dash with my sister and friends
I know who is there for me and have shown there support to me throughout the years. I'm so grateful for them and thank god everyday for their help because without them there I wouldn't know where I'd be. There has been days even years that personally haven't been good for me. I mean never judge because you just don't know what is going on behind closed doors. I'll carry on with my life now because really i'm just a normal girl that has something a little different about myself. It hasn't stopped my from putting my life on hold i go out with my friends, love listening to music, traveling and blogging that's why i felt i needed to share this with you. I can't hide the fact i have scoliosis because it's going to be apart of my blog too. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece.
Me and my dad
My mammy
Emma xx
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